


boy-fairy

by yoonjar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Graduation, M/M, Post-Nationals, Spoilers, it's really just a love letter to sugawara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27935481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonjar/pseuds/yoonjar
Summary: He takes the boy into the soft darkness of his mouth and cradles him between his teeth. For all the love Koushi gives to the world, Daichi wonders if it’s ever loved back. Koushi, instead of a lover, as someone beloved.where koushi is just a boy.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 60





	boy-fairy

It has been exactly 34 minutes since the graduation ceremony ended and Daichi doesn’t feel any differently than he did before he was a high school graduate. 

He doesn’t know what he expected to change, honestly. Maybe a sudden epiphany about what he might do for college. Maybe a newfound maturity now that he has suddenly been thrust into a world much more different than the one he’s always known. Maybe a revelation on how to miss Koushi a little less. 

He looks at Koushi, then. He’s fluttering around from person to person, big smile, sparkling eyes, and bouquet in hand, leaving a trail of bright yellow petals in his wake. His feet barely touch the ground, always in motion. Always coming, then going. Always in flight. 

He hears the tail-end of his conversation with the first-years. Well, second-years now.

“Don’t be rude to any new first years, okay? I trust you. Yes, I know you’ll miss me. I’ll miss you too. Don’t get sappy on me now! I’ll still visit. You can never get rid of me! Watch your backs!” 

And really, only Koushi can get Tobio and Kei to elicit so much emotion in public, leaving them shiny-eyed and pink-nosed. Daichi even hears one of them sniffle.

Then, it’s Daichi’s turn. He has no time to prepare before Koushi looks at him once, twice, then strides over to him with all the confidence of a winged creature taking its first step into the air. 

“ _You_ ,” Koushi says once he’s close enough, finger pointing directly at Daichi, “I want to see in private.”

A chorus of shouts from the second-years ( _third-years_ , Daichi has to remind himself) ensue. Daichi struggles to accommodate his heart in his throat as he awkwardly breaks off from the group and follows Koushi to a quiet corner near the back of the gym.

He remembers this place. The two of them used to hang out here as first-years, stealing each other’s food and complaining about practice and school and family. It’s a quiet pocket in space, makes Daichi feel like they’re the only two people in the world. And just as well. 

“So,” Koushi turns to him, hands in his pockets and looking straight at Daichi, “don’t you have something to say to me?” 

He knows exactly what he’s talking about. They’ve been tiptoeing the line of _something_ for a while now; stealing glances at one another during practise, casual touches lingering a beat too long, an unbearable sense of nearness even when they’re apart. _Something_ , and Daichi knows exactly what. Koushi seems to as well. 

Then, with the frightening sense that this is the only time he could possibly say it, his last chance at the truth before Koushi flies away to whatever vibrant saturated environment he’s going to absolutely transform, he goes:

“Suga一” He fumbles. “No一 Koushi.” At this, Koushi sucks in a breath, his eyes growing big, big, bigger, and his face is all shades of pink. “I’m guessing you know this already, because, well, you know things about me even _I_ don’t know. It’s your superpower. I also haven’t been doing a good job of keeping it a secret.” Here, Koushi laughs. It sounds like spring and light and honey, like the delight of a bird taking flight. He grabs a hold of Daichi’s hand, so as to make this next part easier for him. Daichi finds himself surprised that he doesn’t need it, not really. Telling Koushi he loves him isn’t hard at all. He finds that nothing with Koushi is hard.

So he clears his throat awkwardly and says with all the gusto of a man in love and telling his lover he admires him, loves him, wants to spend his whole life with him:

“I like you. Like, a lot. Actually, more than that even. I一” He’s interrupted by Koushi’s larger-than-life smile, looking so choke-full of feelings that if he lets go of Daichi’s hand he might just float away. He opens his mouth and joy pours out of it like a stream.

“Good,” Koushi finally says, smile crooked, voice clumsy, “because I do too.” 

He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it is. Maybe some part of both of them had seen the other in the club room 3 years ago and thought, here is a man I can grow to love. Here is a man I want to grow up with. Their love is quiet but its presence is ever omnipresent since that first day 3 years ago. 

Daichi has little time to feel like he’s at the top of the world because _of course_ , this is _Sugawara Koushi_ , and he makes life so exciting and challenging and wonderful and so he says一

“Are you going to do something about it, or should I?” 

Daichi gapes, an electric current runs right down his spine. The challenge in the question makes his head spin. 

He has never been one to refuse Koushi, so Daichi gently presses him to the wall. 

“Is this okay?” He whispers, voice nervous and tentative. Something in his brain tells him this is _wrong_. He feels like an entomologist pinning down a butterfly. In his mind, brilliant kaleidoscopic wings are fighting against the restraints. Koushi, all 5 '8 of him, threatens to fly. Daichi cups everything that he is, raucous laughter, gentle hands, bright eyes and all, and hopes he chooses to stay.

Koushi bumps his nose to Daichi's. They’re so close he can feel the heat of his lips. 

“I would tell you if it wasn’t okay. Stop being so nervous. It’s just me.”

The problem is that it _is_ him. He wouldn’t be so nervous if it were anyone else. How do you hold a boy-fairy in your arms and expect them to take to domesticity?

Koushi looks up at him expectantly, cheeks rosy, lips parted and glossy. He loops his hands behind Daichi's neck to bring him closer. He touches their noses together again.

Daichi shudders as he feels his fingertips trace patterns on the back of his neck. He tries to decipher what he’s writing. _I love you_ , he realises with wide eyes, a big clumsy heart where love is supposed to be. _Oh_.

“You can kiss me, you know.” Koushi’s voice is low, low and _teasing_. A little bit breathless.

And Daichi is nothing if not good at hanging off of Koushi’s every word, so he wastes no time surging forward and kisses him. 

He’s never kissed before. He’s dreamed it though, more times than he’d like to admit. Dreamed of the purple-pink bubble of wanting in his chest glowing fluorescent under his touch, dreamed of lightness and the sky and Koushi and the honeyed silence he’d pull out of the air like music. He dreamed a face and a mouth and thought dreams were enough.

They were not. Enough, that is. Dreams have a sort of transient quality, like mirage under his fingers. He desired without feeling, touched without a body. This, the feel of Koushi’s mouth on his, is nothing he could’ve imagined in a dream. It is real in its solidity and feather soft, so pink it makes his heart burst. He feels himself melting into a puddle. Boy-fairy brings him closer to the Earth. The irony is not lost on him.

Experimentally, he licks into Koushi’s mouth. 

Koushi feels the sinewy red muscle prod his teeth and he opens under its ministrations. He tastes Daichi's heart in his mouth and holds it like a heartbeat under his tongue. He feels an unbearable lightness in the balls of his feet, and grips Daichi a little tighter to keep him weighed to the ground. Two spears of pain bloom underneath the skin of his shoulder blades. Boy-fairy trades wings for lover, trades skies for Earth. He indulges the pain, drunk on the pleasure.

There’s a gasp and Daichi pulls away. “ _God_ 一” 

“Nope,” Koushi giggles and Daichi feels the cool tingle of his breath on his lips. “Just me.”

Daichi makes a small noise. He feels his heart contract and he’s sure that if Koushi were to reach under his shirt right then, his fingers would come up sticky and frozen together with sugar where love leaks right out of his ribcage. He slides his fingers into silky silver hair and tugs him closer, relishing in the wet press of lips that follow.

Then: “You’re no God.”

Daichi breathes it right onto Koushi’s lips. He says it with their mouths still connected.

There is a pause. Koushi leans back a fraction and brushes his thumb along Daichi's cheekbone. His eyes are song soft, lips swollen from attention, cheeks flushed red. He’s so beautiful it makes Daichi want to cry. Still, the unspoken question hangs in the air.

“You’re no God,” Daichi repeats, words large and awkward in his mouth. He inhales. “You’re just a boy.”

It is both a nonsensical statement and a quiet revelation. Reality hits them in the face. They are 18 and going to graduate, 18 and graduating, 18 and already graduated. They are boys all the same.

Koushi cocks his head to the side and smiles a soft curling smile like he’s confused (like he’s afraid) and laughs something low and quiet into existence. 

“Of course I am. What did you think I was?”

_I don’t know_ , Daichi wants to say, frustration slowly building at the back of his throat. _Anything but a boy_ , he used to think. _18 and not a boy, 15 and not a boy, could be 6 and still not a boy_. 

No, Daichi used to look at Koushi and see a home. Sitting in the changing room after practise, air colored orange and sunlight dripping onto Koushi’s cheeks, Daichi transforms from captain to child, captivated by the iridescent quality of Koushi glittering under his fingertips. Koushi turned him from man to child by offering him his skin as sanctuary and building a concave in his chest for Daichi to rest. 

No, Daichi used to look at Koushi and see a pillar. The oldest of the third years, and the strongest. Asahi and Daichi grew around him as if in some sort of cosmic trajectory following the closest thing to the Sun. And 15-year-old Koushi _was_ the Sun; red-faced, glowing, clumsy, and the center of Daichi’s entire universe. He was still the Sun when he laughed that soft crumbling thing out of his throat when he realised Kageyama was taking his starting position, still the Sun when he screamed support from the sidelines and watched his last year of high school be carried out by everyone _but_ him. 

No, Daichi used to look at Koushi and see a lover. Because despite _everything_ , he loves volleyball. He loves Tobio, and Shoyou, and he loves the team, and he loves that he’s so full of love nothing else matters. Bits of him exist everywhere in love-shaped imprints because he gives so much of himself to the world without asking for anything in return. Lover, giver, _Koushi_. 

Instead: “Always just you. Just Sugawara Koushi.”

Just _Sugawara_ , never a boy. Sugawara, only a home. Sugawara, only a pillar. Sugawara, only a lover. Always Koushi, never just a _boy_.

Koushi, a boy, because no single person is strong enough to support 12 people and still have more love left to give. Koushi, a boy, because Daichi saw him cry behind the gym after the match with Kamomedai. Koushi, a boy, because Daichi sees him flicker and fade when fear creeps into his veins and he’s afraid he’ll be left behind. He would give anything to not be left behind. (Daichi knows this because he sees the raw desperation in his eyes sometimes. As if he believes he is only valued by how much he gives others. As if he believes he can only be in the team if he makes up for incompetence with kindness. As if that matters to Daichi. As if anything but Koushi一real, here, _now_ 一matters to Daichi.)

Koushi blinks the surprise out of his eyes. “It _is_ me, silly.”

“Yeah,” Daichi murmurs. He memorises the way Koushi’s eyelashes shine silver in the dim light. He watches it flutter against his cheek as he peers up at him. “Yeah, it is you.” And kisses him again.

This time, it’s different.

He takes the boy into the soft darkness of his mouth and cradles him between his teeth. For all the love Koushi gives to the world, Daichi wonders if it’s ever loved back. Koushi, instead of a lover, as someone beloved. 

He intertwines their fingers without separating their lips. Under his touch, Koushi blooms. Daichi touches him like he’s a body and not a vessel, touches him like he is made of more than what he gives others. (When was the last time someone touched him like this? Touched him because he is a person and not because he is kind?) 

The future dies down to this one moment between the two of them; a recurring luminescence frozen white and silver in memory.

Koushi, boy-fairy. Koushi, beloved. 

He flies.

(Daichi follows.)

**Author's Note:**

> hi, if u made it to the end thank u so much for reading, i hope u liked it even if just a little !! i had a lot of emotions and wanted to get it off my chest and lo and behold 2.1k words of well, this !!! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated !! come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MIWALlSA)


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